To the Wall
I've been where you are. I used to happen upon that place more frequently. Less so now, which is of great relief. Though I must say there is some element of promise that I've learned to cling to when I stop by that spot.
Interestingly enough it hasn't ever been a visit of choice. I find myself at The Wall unexpectedly. Last time I had a feeling that that was where I was headed, so I girded myself as best as possible through prayer and by breathing in gratitude to sustain me.
I'm not sure how you arrived at The Wall, either, or why we keep coming to this place. My pastor spoke of his visits to The Wall a while back, and had some encouraging things to say.
It makes no sense to me, logically, that as we journey with God down any number of paths, that a wall should suddenly appear and stand in our way. Who in their right mind would construct such a blockage in the middle of ones path? For what purpose? And yet, there it is. There they are. Things are usually going along very well and then: The Wall. It's frustrating. Disheartening. It often makes me want to turn and continue back down the path I'd come from. The path with wrong answers can seem more satisfying than the path with no answers.
Most troublesome is the lack of visible doors or windows. Search as I might there is never an easy way to break through. A way to keep walking just the way I was. I'm just stuck. And I've come to learn that it's fruitless to ignore it. The Wall has purpose. I can't continue just the way I was,.
As I mentioned, my pastor is optimistic about The Wall. He says that it serves a purpose and that it actually is intentionally placed exactly where it is supposed to be. With God's help, we are meant to wrestle, struggle, and be vexed by the wall. We should pursue every chance of a window, door, or even tunnel underneath the wall that stands in our path because that is the most important part of The Wall: overcoming it.
If we're honest with ourselves, once we've broken through whatever The Wall is in our journey with God, we're never the same as we were before. Nor will we ever be. And it's a beautiful transformation. When we sit with God and shout or cry or pound on the walls that put a halt in our walk, God tills our hearts and shows us tools for demolition that we never knew were nested inside of us. Tools of reconciliation, tools of confidence, tools of deeper understanding, conviction, freedom, peace, honesty, healing, and wisdom. Without wrestling in how to conquer these walls in our faith, we wouldn't know how to soar. We wouldn't be equipped for the road ahead.
Without walls, we lack structure and support.
Whatever your wall is, remember to cling to the promise that you will get to the other side. Don't stop searching. Don't stop trying. Don't give up. Press in. Find your place in the struggle. Some of my walls have been great, others small. I've wrung my hands and paced, shedding hot, angry tears as I ache for breakthrough.
"See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me."
Like Jerusalem's walls in ruins, God has seen the walls before us. He will lead us to breakthroughs, and build up what needs reparation. He is good. He is faithful. He is hope.