Visitation & The Gospel
"Dear visit days, you bring me such a mixture of emotions. I try to think of you as an invitation to experience my deepest compassion, rather than two hours stuck in a small jail-like room. If not for confidentiality, I would write a book about all the conversations had that are heartbreaking and just so real. When I leave you, I get to bring home my sweet babe that now smells like a mixture of organic baby soap and homeless life on the streets. And I'm reminded again that that's the Gospel. And that's what we want our lives to be about. So thank you for the good, hard gifts you bring. I'm starting to learn that those are the best kind. Sincerely, #Tiredfostermom"
I immediately recognized myself and my faith-journey in her words. And, honestly, I felt relieved. I've been hesitant to say or write anything about visiting the birth-relative of our foster boys. Afraid of judgement, misunderstanding, and also the newness of it all - maybe I'll get better at it or it will be easier after months.
What I love about the honesty of this Facebook post, is that it blatantly identifies the tornado of emotions we as foster parents face. It isn't a roller coaster. Roller coasters go up and down. But a tornado swirls all things together in a blur, and we must meet Christ at the center of it.
As a wise writer once said, sometimes Jesus calms the storm and other times He calms us for the storm. As I mentioned yesterday, foster care is confrontational type of spiritual warfare. So we endure and fight and love and listen and wait and go and stay and ache and rejoice and wonder and dream...and be Jesus. Because Jesus is love. This is what love can look like when we put His heart before our own and love with abandon. Be blessed, dear friend. Love, #MNtiredfostermom